Fundamental #12 - When in Doubt, Communicate Personally

Fundamental # 11 - When in doubt, communicate personally by Michele Scardella - SEBS of Pittsburgh

 When delivering difficult or complex messages, or in emotionally charged situations, err on the side of speaking "live" versus using e-mail or voice mail. Where appropriate, follow up in writing to confirm your understanding.

 Communicating personally is as easy as getting up from our desks to talk to someone across the room. If you have, the opportunity to speak face to face that should happen instead of sending an e-mail or picking up the phone. So much can get lost in the context of an e-mail. Did the sender understand what they were doing by putting everything in CAPS? Are they upset with you, are they yelling or were they not paying attention and left the CAPS on? We need to use our best judgment so if it is a quick note, sure e-mail should be fine.

Our business puts us in challenging situations and at times, we at times need to deliver difficult messages to clients. Face to face, communication is more valuable than other types of communication such as telephone or email. These types of communication lack crucial nonverbal signs to help understand the message. Whether you are delivering or receiving the message, nonverbal signs play an important role in understanding a verbal message.

When you have face-to-face communication, you are going to be able to know better what to expect. Have you ever been on a call with a client and find out you were on speaker with other people in the room and not just the one person you thought you were speaking with? You had no idea who else is in that room. You are not able to gage the tone of the room or how they are all receiving your message. Are they rolling their eyes, or having a separate conversation that has nothing to do with the call? Did they get up and leave the room? When you are in front of the person or people you are delivering the message to you can clearly see facial expressions, body language with the words spoken. The tone of their voice will be clear and if there are other people in the room what are their reactions?

I think we have all done this at one time or another. You send an e-mail (internal or external) and you think you have been perfectly clear in what you are stating / explaining. You get an e-mail back with questions and you ping-pong back and forth when after the second round you should have stopped, called that person to have a conversation or set a meeting to discuss face to face if possible. Speaking to the person directly will resolve issues faster with less stress and misunderstanding.

Also, to note: to communicate personally also means being face to face with the “correct” person. Difficult situations come up and it is not easy to deliver bad news to someone. Delivering a difficult message to the wrong person is also a no, no. We are human and it is common for us to think about how easy it would be to avoid a situation. That voice in your head is saying, "This is going to be uncomfortable so maybe I will have someone else do it for me". Do not hide behind the wrong person and make someone else deliver the message. This could make the situation even more difficult.