Greetings, folks!
Welcome to another scintillating preview of “The Real Housewives of Orange County,” season 7 edition!
Here we give you, dear readers, a sneak peek at what transpires on the next installment of Orange County’s best-known (and most-hated?) reality TV series. Episode 6 airs tonight (3/13) at 9 p.m. on Bravo, or earlier if you have satellite TV or Bravo’s HD channel. Check your local listings.
Tonight’s episode picks up where the previous one left off, at an ’80s Bunko Party at El Adobe restaurant in San Juan Capistrano. Have you ever eaten there? I have. It wasn’t that great. Kind of bland, if you ask me.
Anyway, if you recall from episode 5, Gretchen Rossi’s boyfriend Slade Smiley has discovered a new career as a stand-up comedian. At the Irvine Improv, he bashed “Housewives” Tamra Barney and Vicki Gunvalson, comparing Vicki and her new appearance after reconstructive surgery to the Muppet Miss Piggy.
As episode 6 starts, we see the ladies in tacky 1980s attire at El Adobe. Tamra, the host of the party, says, “I want to introduce to you guys, the ’80s hottest men.” Tamra opens a door, and in walk Terry Dubrow, Slade, Eddie Judge and one more guy. They’re all in ugly outfits from the ’80s and tasteless wigs or hair extensions.
Slade enters wearing a black jacket, jeans, a wife-beater undershirt and a mullet.
In a one-on-one interview, Gretchen says, “Seriously, Slade with a mullet. He looked like such a (expletive)-bag. I’m so glad I didn’t date you during the ’80s.”
When Slade enters, Vicki has a nasty look on her face. Tamra reveals a look of concern.
Terry says to his wife, Heather Dubrow, “By the way, in five seconds, I’m going to take this (wig) off. It’s sweaty. I’m freaky. I know.”
In a one-on-one interview, Heather says, “The ’80s were not the best-looking period of time. Terry looked hideous. I’m very very happy the ’80s are over.”
As the men prance around, Tamra says to Vicki, “I tried to get Brooks here. I tried to get Brooks here so bad.” Brooks Ayers is Vicki’s new boyfriend.
Vicki says in a one-on-one interview, “When I saw Slade, you know I was like shocked, going, ‘Really.’ Like Tamra, we just got ridiculed in front of 300 people, and now you’re inviting him to a social function.”
“Housewife” Alexis Bellino says in a 0ne-on-one: “Jim (Bellino) wasn’t invited, and I definitely wondering if Tamra did it to hurt my feelings or because she doesn’t like Jim. It’s probably both of us, to be honest.”
At the party, Gretchen says to Slade, “Oh my God, I just got into the biggest girlfight with what’s his name. He totally brought up the Improv.”
Slade says to the culprit, “Ricky, are you all pissed off about my improv, Ricky? You didn’t like it?”
Ricky: “No, I didn’t like it.”
Slade: “Here’s the deal. I’ll tell you right now. It’s comedy. So If you don’t like it, don’t come to the show.”
Ricky says he didn’t attend the show.
Vicki, standing in the background, interjects, “How is that funny? Are you all of a sudden a comedian?”
Slade says yes, he is a comedian.
Vicki: “Since when?”
Slade says he’s been a comedian since he recently decided to go onstage at the Improv, and “yes, it was very very funny.”
Vicki mutters out loud, “He’s a piece of (crap). No, he’s a piece of (crap). Bye, I’m out. Done.”
Vicki leaves the restaurant. But she’s still lingering outside, collecting her thoughts, trying to control her rage.
Gretchen emotionally blurts out to Ricky and others, “(Slade) and I have already been in a fight about this. You don’t know what’s gone on between us.”
Vicki comes back in, and everyone braces for a tirade.
Tamra says, “Vicki’s eyes are bulging out of her head. This can’t be good.”
Vicki says to Slade, “I’m sorry I don’t fit the Orange County model of what you think my face should look like. It’s hurtful, Slade, and it’s mean.”
Slade: “I have never made …”
Vicki to Slade: “You’re a deadbeat dad.”
Gretchen: “You are smoking crack, Vicki. Why are you dating Brooks? Why are you dating Brooks? Vicki, it’s the same thing. You are so obnoxious.”
Vicki, screaming: “You’re not a mother. You have no idea what it’s like. You are a piece of (crap). I’m out. Bye.”
But before she leaves, she screams to Gretchen: “My boyfriend is none of your business!”
Gretchen: “Slade is none of your (expletive) business!”
Vicki: “He lives with you. He doesn’t work.”
Gretchen: “You don’t know anything about anything.”
Vicki: “I’m out. I can’t even stand to look at him. He’s a piece of (crap).
Once outside (again), Vicki says to Tamra, “This stuff is disgusting. Tamra, why would he come.”
In a one-on-one interview, Tamra says the divorce and Briana’s health are still having a toll on Vicki. “If I would have known that Slade was going to upset Vicki so much, I certainly wouldn’t have invited him.” Well, good thinking, Tamra, after the fact.
After Vicki has left, Gretchen cries, “What gives her that (expletive) right?”
Slade: “She doesn’t have the right.”
Gretchen: “Who is she to say anything about you? It’s not right. It’s always one way. I’m so over that. It’s always skewed one way.”
Outside, Tamra says to Vicki, “I am removed from this. Don’t let them get under your skin.”
Gretchen is still complaining about Vicki. When the subject turns to Tamra, she says, “I like Tamra. Tamra I like. And she actually said to me she felt bad about what she said to me.”
Alexis is surprised by this. “Really?” she asks.
Tamra, consoling Vicki: “No man degrades a woman. And no one is perfect.”
Vicki: “I had no idea he was coming.”
Slade: “Vicki has always been a total hypocrite. She called Jim an ugly troll. She called you (Alexis) white trash.”
Vicki explains Brooks to Tamra: “Yes, he got behind on his support. Yes, he got caught up. Guess what, people get behind.”
Gretchen, still complaining: “Slade and I are the bad people.” She says that whenever Vicki is going through hard times, everyone has to sympathize, but no one sympathizes for her and Slade.
Whew! OK, enough already!
In the next sneak preview scene, Alexis is at the plastic surgeon’s office with her husband Jim. She’s about to get her nose job done.
Alexis says in a one-on-one interview, “I know people have had a lot of plastic surgery in Orange County, but I have had this problem for four years. And it’s not just a hump in my nose.”
How long is the procedure going to take? Alexis asks her plastic surgeon, Dr. Niccole. “About an hour,” he says.
Alexis: “Dr. Niccole did my breast surgery back in 2008. He’s like the best known in this area, especially for his rhinos. He’s really known for his breasts and his rhinoplasties, so I’m very comfortable going with him.”
Dr. Niccole explains that he’s going to “take this little bump down” as he’s observing Alexis’ nose.
Alexis: “How bad to you have to break it?”
Dr. Nicoole: “Minimally.”
Alexis: “He is going to go up thru my nostril, which is a big relief for me. I was worried he was going to detach my nose from my face.”
Alexis is about to go into the surgery room, and Dr. Niccole says, “Give her a kiss, Jimmy.”
Jim holds Alexis in his arms, and she bursts into tears.
Jim: “Don’t cry. Why are you crying? You’re fine babe.”
Alexis says something indecipherable about being under anesthesia and waking up.
Jim begins to pray over Alexis. “We pray that you protect Alexis. Let’s get a good result. In Jesus’ name, amen.”
Alexis says later: “Any time Jim prays for us, it just puts a calmness and a peace over us. It definitely helped.”
Well, that’s all for now, folks! The next, seventh episode of “The Real Housewives of Orange County” airs Tuesday, March 20. We’ll have another exciting preview also on Tuesday.
Until then, happy “Housewives” watching!
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